nonchalance

It has been so long that I forgot to practice behave like nonchalance.

Well actually, I did, several times, weeks ago; I thought I'm well prepared. The fact is, after that moment this afternoon, I'm not. I can't control myself; I can't help running away; I can't stop the sped-up heartbeats; I can't ... anything! I Just Can't!

Was I afraid? What was I afraid of? Was I nervous? What was I nervous for?


I usually had this feeling when I spoke in public or ... Damn! I hate to admit. That is so not true and so cannot be true. Life should be what it should be! Simple and Focus. Nothing else, but nonchalance.